Free PDF Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
Free PDF Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition
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Review
“Hendrix provides much insight into how spouses can mature through one another.†―Booklist“Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together.†―T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health“I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship.†―M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled“Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships.†―Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund“Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.†―Marion Solomon, Ph.D.“This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!†―James A. Hall, M.D.
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About the Author
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., has more than thirty years of experience as an educator, public lecturer, and therapist. His work has been translated into more than fifty languages and Imago Therapy is practiced in thirty countries. Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy. They have six children and live in New Jersey and New Mexico.
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Product details
Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: Henry Holt & Co; Revised and Updated edition (December 26, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0805087001
ISBN-13: 978-0805087000
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 1 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
809 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#5,349 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I rarely write reviews but felt compelled to write one about this book. It was loaned to me by my therapist. My wife and I have been struggling in our marriage for years and no matter what I do (or she does), we always seem to fall back on the same old patterns of behavior that don't seem to work. Falling out of love has been a very painful experience indeed.The situations described in the book were very, very recognizable to me and at times I felt it described it described me and my own feelings exactly. Read this book, even if it is just for the realization that you are not alone in your struggles to make something out of your marriage.Nobody goes into marriage thinking they are going get divorced some day, but the statistics are grim. Roughly half of all marriages end up in divorce and of the remaining marriages probably 9 out of 10 couples sooner or later end up leading parallel lives where they try to find happiness and fulfillment outside of the relationship with their spouse. That means roughly only 1 in 20 couples end up building a lasting and fulfilling relationship that will last a lifetime. Are we expecting too much of marriage? Few of us would undertake an endeavor knowing there is only a 5% of succeeding, yet we do it anyway.The book goes on to illustrate that we chose our partners for very specific reasons that few of us are even aware of. Out of thousands of potential partners we are attracted to some people that subconsciously meet very specific character and personality traits. In a sense, we all marry into our problems, the very things that attract us to our partners, become the very same issues that drive a wedge between us.The book is very practical too in that offers specific exercises and guidelines for couples on how to interact with each other. But don't expect it to be easygoing by any means. I realize now that marriage takes a lot of hard work and commitment every day to make and stay successful. You have to make it a top priority in your life and take nothing for granted. Expect to do a lot of soul searching, be prepared to relive some gut wrenching and painful experiences from the past, be wiling to learn and undo the conditioned automated responses that you have always used, be prepared to be brutally honest to yourself and your spouse. I fear it might be too late for my own marriage but once you get through this catharsis, I do believe you might actually come out with a happier and more fulfilling relationship on the other end.Regardless, I implore you to read this book. It might help you save your marriage or relationship before it's too late, but even if it does not, it might make you a better person, it will certainly help you build more meaningful relationships with other people and give you a better chance at building lasting and more meaningful future relationships. Good luck to all of you that need this book.
Initially I was told that this is a great theory. It was suggested by a friend who is a mental health professional. I am very skeptical when it comes to recommendations from friends. What I learned was that my friend was dead on in suggesting the theory. My marriage was in shambles. I thought it had to be all my partners issues. I read the book and applied the lessons. That was 10 years ago. Since that time I have learned to work on me and not necessarily my partner. It helped me understand why I chose my partner and what I needed to do to correct my issues. Since that time, I have bought many copies to give to friends. As a matter of fact, I have lent copies to friends and have had to replace the copy for myself. From what I can see, those who embrace the theory have lasting "normal" relationships. They are much happier.
The best single relationship book I have ever read. I was so impressed by it that I have used it in several classes. Hendrix considers that we fall in love with people who our unconscious minds tell us can help us complete our unfinished business from childhood. He explains why opposites attract -- and why those differences then begin to drive us crazy. By the middle of the book, you are ready to despair--but then he devotes the second half to the solution, the "conscious marriage." He gets very specific, with a couples quiz that can however be taken by one partner alone; suggestions; recommendations; and--exercises. Anyone who puts in even half the requested effort will end up, at the very least, knowing a good deal more about his or her partner.The book is not perfect. Deliberately aimed at a popular audience, the writing is sometimes too simplified. There are links and connections that can be inferred, but that are not spelled out in the book. And HH's optimistic methods are not likely to work for the deeply disturbed or traumatized individual, simply because the degree of change called for is too great.I give this book to every couple I know, straight or gay, who are getting married.
Great book on improving communication to better all of your relationships, romantic, familial, and work. The key points are to listen, truly listen, without judgement; let your partner know you have heard them; and do not let your own ego get in the way of improving or allowing for a positive, open, honest, genuine, meaningful relationship.
This is an incredibly insightful book that is filled with great exercises that work to bring you and your partner together. The only caveat I can see here is for those who are working with a partner with Narcissistic Personality Disorder...it most likely will not work for those couples because the NPD will always have too many needs for the Non-NPD to meet, despite their efforts and the Non-NPD will never get ANY of their needs met, because the NPD views them as an inanimate appliance, not as a living, breathing human or, Heaven forbid, an equal. If your partner is an emotionally healthy, logical, sane person, like most of the population, though, this book will be a tremendous resource for you. It will even help you see what went wrong in your past relationships and increase your own self-awareness. Excellent!
It's a love hate relationship. It gives you the high of what is possible for love, but it also is painfully raw. If you dare yourself to read it, analyze it, and implement it in your own life. I have read this slowly because I feel like it is a mirror of what is going on inside me, and also takes you back to allll those deal breaker scenarios that makes you single or has sabotaged your marriage. It's makes you cry at times because of the later. I highly suggest this book. It's hard* and painful to read. Insight is great but change is better, I read that somewhere today. Conspire to make your relationship a reality, and keep it by living this book.
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